(‘valley girl’ talking on the phone)
Yeah I have a lot of adverse reactions. Allergies. Like I took these pills once and,
like, they had way too much estrogen and my eyes they went all blurry, y’know?
My boyfriend says I’m too sensitive. Like days when there’s too much carbon
dioxide in the air, I get a real headache. My friend passed out once. She passed
out for good. And he says I’m sensitive.
My dad, he keeps saying “You can’t have everything, you’re a spoiled brat, it’s
all your mother’s fault. She was never satisfied either, just bitch bitch bitch all the
time. It’d be a beautiful day and she’d say ‘But the sky isn’t blue!’ Then she’d
complain there was too much mercury in the water – who can taste mercury for
god’s sake! And then she’d get upset because some animal in some god-forsaken
part of the world had a deformed baby!’ He says I’m just like her.
My boyfriend says I should learn to adapt. Go with the flow, get on the
evolutionary survival track, and maybe these adverse reactions would, like, just
go away. I dunno – he’s been pushing that ‘two heads are better than one’ thing,
you know, like, too much. All of my one-headed friends are way smarter than
Maybe I should drop him, y’know?