Jane Smith’s Translation Dictionary
Everyday Lies, Insults, Manipulations, and Clueless Comments
Jane Smith is a character in A Philosopher, A Psychologist, and An Extraterrestrial Walk into a Chocolate Bar. And she started this. Everyone else is supposed to finish it. Well, add to it. (It’s unlikely it’ll ever be finished.)
- I’m losing.
Don’t be so judgmental!
- Don’t judge me, just let me get away with—everything.
Don’t be so sensitive!
- I want to believe that my actions have no effect whatsoever on anyone.
- Don’t reveal by comparison what a dull-headed emotionally-challenged thug I am.
Don’t do anything stupid.
- Don’t do anything to change the status quo. Because I am benefiting from the status quo.
Don’t talk to me like that!
I have a right to …
- I want to …
We were just having fun.
- We didn’t think it through.
- We don’t want to be held responsible for it.
What do you want me to say?
- What lie will work here?
When making additions, for ease of reading, please use the format used for previous entries.