Jass Richards
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The men in Sweden …

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The men in Sweden don’t wear ties.

I don’t know about you, but any country in which the men don’t walk around wearing little nooses gets my vote.

Then again, given that most countries are nowhere near Sweden with regard to women in government (43%), the noose thing does provide a certain – convenience.

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When I was at a seaside restaurant …

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When I was at a seaside restaurant, a waiter took three dead fish on a plate to some people at one of his tables – I guess so they could choose which one they wanted.

At first I thought “Ugh!” But then I thought, well, people choose which lobster they want from a bunch […]

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You know how some men …

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You know how some men used to jingle coins in their pocket?
“Look at me! I’m rich! I have a bunch of nickels and dimes in my pocket!”

And then it became cool to carry around a lot of jangling keys.
“Look at me! I’m important! I can open lots of doors!”

Now, […]

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In Italy…

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In Italy, the street people don’t ask you for money exactly – they pray for it. Literally. They kneel on the sidewalk with their little cup in front of them and pray. Hands pressed together, eyes closed, the whole bit.

So when you give them money, you’re validating their belief in – no, wait […]

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What is this obsession with taking pictures…

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What is this obsession with taking pictures of everything?

If you want pictures of these places, why not just buy the book?

I swear some people took pictures of the postcards.

‘Course why not – the postcards always looked better than the real thing.

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As a species, we are so in love with ourselves …

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As a species, we are so in love with ourselves, aren’t we? Almost every painting and certainly every sculpture I saw featured human subjects.

I saw a few horses, a rabbit or two, and an antelope. But they were usually dead.

Or dying a very horrible death.

‘Course it could just be that […]

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I don’t think I was in the right mood …

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I don’t think I was in the right mood for the Louvre. I saw this one really famous painting of a shipwreck, the main figure is on the beach, dramatically draped over crates and sails, in a pose of utter exhaustion.

And all I thought was “Oh get a grip!”

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I got lost a lot …

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I got lost a lot. Even before I got to Amsterdam, I mean.

I got lost getting from the train stations to the hotels. I got lost getting from the hotels to the museums. Then I started getting lost in the museums.

It’s true. You can spend days in the Louvre.

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I noticed there were no garbage cans …

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I noticed there were no garbage cans along the Champs D’Elysees – anywhere.

And I thought “That’s wishful thinking.” It’s nonstop tourists.

A block later I realized they’d just said “The hell with it,” given a woman a go-cart, put a vacuum cleaner on it, and made it a full-time job.

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Copenhagen is made for pedestrians …

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Copenhagen is made for pedestrians.  It has lots of pedestrian-only spaces, the streets have these really wide sidewalks, and in Copenhagen, pedestrians always have the right of way.  You can be crossing the street anywhere and the cars will stop for you.

They’ll do that in Amsterdam too.  Though that could be because you’re […]

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Europe doesn’t have the junk food we do …

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Europe doesn’t have the junk food we do. I had a heck of a time finding Doritos.

Especially in, of all places, Amsterdam.

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One of the shops on the Champs D’Elysees…

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One of the shops on the Champs D’Elysees is a travel agency for Iran Air – “The Airline of the Islamic Republic of Iran”.

I’ll bet they’re not doing much business these days.

Given the tendency of Islamic pilots to fly into buildings.

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Remember Jules Verne?

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Remember Jules Verne? The guy who went around the world in 80 days?

He didn’t have to deal with airports and train stations and ferries and buses.

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Jass Richards Does Europe

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People in business class and first class need to feel important and special.

So they get to board planes ahead of the rest of us.

Along with the other infants and small children.

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