Pitch for a sci-fi movie: A plague kills all the women on Earth except five, who manage to escape infection. On these five depend the continuation of the human species.
And when the men find them, it takes all of fifteen minutes to rape them to death.
(A very short sci-fi movie.)
What’s scary about the development of intelligent computers or biochemical roots is not that they might some day pass whatever test we come up with to determine if they meet the criteria for being a conscious human being.
What’s scary is that on that day, a good number of the rest of us might not.
Research continues to show that the older you get, the less likely you are to get married.
Well yeah. Because the older you get, the less likely you are to be deluded.
It’s always pissed me off how men seem to make every little thing they do so important. They put on such a serious face. Even if they’re just tying their shoelaces.
Turns out I’ve been giving them way too much credit. They’re not conveying importance. They’re just concentrating really really hard.
The word ‘wife’ first referred to those women who were captured, after the invasion and conquest of a neighbouring tribe, and brought home to be slaves. ‘To have and to hold’ is in fact a legal expression used to transfer possession of a piece of property.
In Canada, one in four wives is severely […]
Did you know there’s an international law that says you can’t use weapons that cause “unnecessary suffering”?
Blowing your right leg off, that was necessary.
But the left leg, gee, I’m sorry about that, that was unnecessary, wasn’t it.
I was reading the other day about this guy, Daniel Maston, an assistant operator at the Point Lepreau Nuclear Generating Station. He was sentenced to four months for spiking the cafeteria’s juice cooler with tritiated heavy water from the reactor.
Apparently he said –- and I quote –- “I don’t have a good reason. […]
As a species, we are so in love with ourselves, aren’t we? Almost every painting and certainly every sculpture I saw featured human subjects.
I saw a few horses, a rabbit or two, and an antelope. But they were usually dead.
Or dying a very horrible death.
‘Course it could just be that […]
Half the world’s population is under twenty-five. The ones who aren’t undernourished are crack babies or fetal alcohol syndrome babies or AIDS babies or babies who for no good reason reached adolescence and graduated from high school but can’t spell ‘graduated’.
Makes you want to go right out and buy one of those ‘Children are […]
A site chosen for a nuclear power plant is two miles from an active fault line, and the blueprints for the reactors got mixed up, so the earthquake fault supports were installed backwards.
Oh yeah-–we’re definitely ready for that anti-matter stuff.
There have been over 2000 tests of nuclear weapons since World War II. You’d think we’d get it right after, say, the first couple hundred.
And we haven’t figured out yet what to do with the leftover stuff. We have enough radioactive waste to contaminate all of the Earth’s lakes and rivers – twice. […]
The team of genetic researchers that successfully cloned a sheep from a single adult cell named the sheep “Dolly”, after a certain large-breasted country singer, because the cell had come from a mammary gland.
Grown men, brilliant men, men on the cutting edge of science, men who become headline news, are quite likely still […]
The Training Center for Subversive Warfare teaches that “Torture must be kept clean, it must not be carried out in the presence of those with sadistic tendencies, it must be carried out by some responsible person, and above all, it must be humane.”
Otherwise, it would be, what, wrong?
The economic system used for decision-making by the United Nations, the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund, and national governments considers only cash-generating activities to be productive.
So Tendai, who lives in Zimbabwe and spends eighteen hours a day providing food, clothing, and shelter for herself and her children, is unproductive.
Lieutenant General Daniel Graham once said ‘If a one megaton bomb was about to explode over this building and you had the good sense to start walking and get behind a lilac bush, that bomb would not hurt you.’
He was later chosen to be the Senior Military Advisor to the President.
Women, as a matter of routine, redden their lips, ornament their ears, push up their breasts, display their legs, and arch their feet.
Then they get pissed off if you see them as sex objects.
And they get really pissed off if you then tell they’re being irrational.
When AIDS became an epidemic, a certain company recalled the condoms not up to their new standards, claiming ‘a certain social responsibility’.
Apparently they were unaware that people had been using their condoms not only to prevent the transmission of disease, but also to prevent the transmission of sperm.
In our species, sexual desire seems to induce a state of temporary idiocy. Which is why it is not particularly encouraging that the male half of the species actually brags about being in a constant state of sexual readiness.
The Annual Turing Test Competition is an event in which a panel of experts asks questions from a remote location of a bunch of computers and a bunch of people. If they can’t tell that a computer is a computer, it passes the Turing Test – it is deemed able to think.
In a recent […]
A worker, no doubt somebody’s kid, accidentally dropped a socket wrench down a silo – it hit a missile causing an explosion that launched a nine megaton hydrogen bomb into a field several hundred yards away. Oops.
Because of naval mishaps, there are now nine nuclear reactors and fifty nuclear warheads on the ocean floor. […]
Many of us are too unimaginative–or too lazy–or both–to make our lives worthwhile. So we have kids. That’s our contribution to society. Genetic replications of our deficiency.
This inability to find fulfillment in the here and now is shared by those who set their sights instead on some heaven. No surprise, they’re the ones with […]
In a recent experiment involving monkeys, 13% pulled a chain electroshocking an unrelated monkey whose agony was in plain view. In a similar experiment conducted with humans, 65% administered the shock, to the point of fatality.
Much to do was subsequently made about the ethics – of the experimenters.
Two bombs in a building were set to go off an hour apart, and the Mayor of the City said, “The second bomb was clearly designed to hurt the rescue workers coming to assist, so we’re dealing with a warped mind here.”
Um, wouldn’t the first bomb kind of establish that?
We distinguish males from females. Before we do anything else. And before we do everything else. For example, ‘Mr. Smith’ really means ‘Penis-Person Smith’. The use of such sex-identifying prefixes is considered polite.
The use of ‘Penis-Person’ – or ‘Dickhead’ – is not. Apparently.
If the history of the Earth were a year, life would not appear until March, multi-cellular organisms not until November. Dinosaurs would show up on December 13, and mammals on December 15. On December 31, we’d show up. By late evening, we’d have well-developed brains.
And then it’d take us 60 seconds to thoroughly trash […]